It’s 130 am. I can’t sleep. Every time I close my eyes, that last hour keeps replaying. Over and over. Like a song on the radio that you just can’t stand to hear one more time. I want to change the channel, because I’m tired. Physically, mentally and emotionally tired. But I can’t. There’s no … Continue reading That last hour
I’ve thought long and hard about sharing this picture. It was taken in the final moments of Mr. Bean’s life. He had just been unplugged from all of his machines, his IV’s and tubes removed, and he was placed in our arms. There were probably 30 doctors and nurses standing around his bed. The PACT … Continue reading The Day my Baby Died
Everyone knows the cliches, the sayings, the inspirational quotes. They all boil down to one thing, "you're never given more than you can handle". This rages me. It minimizes and simplifies the hardships we all go through. And boy, do we get some tough things thrown our way. This isn't just from a grieving mothers … Continue reading The darkest time
The holidays are here. Christmas, Hanukka, Kwanzaa, Sinterclass. No matter what, or if, or how you celebrate, the holidays can be tricky. I mean, it's the most wonderful time of the year, but it can also remind us of the important people who we don't have with us. They tend to remind us of the … Continue reading Soak it in – One day everything will change
This whole grieving thing is tough. Every time I think I have something figured out; a coping mechanism, an expected reaction, an anticipated emotion, it sneaks out and gives me an unpredicted surprise. I've always been a bit of a hypochondriac. When my kids get sick I can get a bit crazy. I've ended up … Continue reading Anxiety and grief
The Mortal Fox 