Giving permission for SelfCare

You know what I just did? I got into a bath, with a bag of chip and cold beer. At 1 o’clock in the afternoon. I looked at pictures of my baby boy who I was supposed to outlive and I cried. And now I write, because writing has become a huge ally in this …

Grief…an unpredictable jerk

Man oh man, grief is unpredictable. It's such a learning process. Just when you think you're starting to get the hang of it, it will throw you for a loop. Grief hits you in waves, check. Grief is different for everyone, check. You will start to find a new normal, check. Expect to feel disconnected …

The Day my Baby Died

I’ve thought long and hard about sharing this picture. It was taken in the final moments of Mr. Bean’s life. He had just been unplugged from all of his machines, his IV’s and tubes removed, and he was placed in our arms. There were probably 30 doctors and nurses standing around his bed. The PACT …

The Holiday season with out my child.

Christmas and New Years are a blur to me right now. Although I can honestly say that I had a wonderful holiday with my family, it was a little harder than I anticipated. I think that because I never had Killian through a Christmas, I didn’t expect to miss him as much as I did. …

When Children Grieve

Experiencing grief as a child must be indescribeable.  For most of the kids who experience grief first hand, the amount of confusion, fear and anxiety must be very difficult to process.  We all know that kids are constantly learning, that they thrive on routine and predictablility. When death and grief invade a family, these "normals" …